


on my honor

by iskra (kiira)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: !!, F/F, Girl Scouts, High School AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiira/pseuds/iskra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>who can sell the most cookies contest au (also a high school au) (and girl scouts)</p>
            </blockquote>





	on my honor

Most girls quit Girl Scouts after middle school, because somewhere between boys and lip gloss, wearing a dorky uniform and doing (what sometimes felt like years) of community service just didn’t seem quite as cool anymore.

But your dad insisted that you continue, something about how your mother was a Girl Scout and he would get this look in his eyes whenever he spoke about her that you couldn’t just _ignore_ , which is how you found yourself going to Carmilla Karnstein’s house after school, carefully making sure to avoid eye contact with each other on the bus.  

Carmilla’s probably the last (dead last) person that you would expect to still be a scout, sullen and angry at seemingly everything.

(You decide two seconds into the most awkward bus ride ever that her mom probably made her do it, being that her mom _is_ the troop leader and all.)

The other girls are more of who you would expect to still be there. There’s actually only two of them, Lola and Danny, and you’ve barely spoken to either of them. Lola’s friends with LaFontaine your bio lab partner and next-door neighbor, and LaFontaine has told you (more than you will ever need to know) about Lola, but you’ve still never exchanged more than a couple words with her.

And of course you know Danny Lawrence, who’s tall (gorgeous) and the closest thing your high school has to a celebrity, what with her huge collection of track trophies that crowd the school’s display cases. Unfortunately, you’ve had the _biggest_ crush on Danny for about forever, and you’re usually reduced to a stuttering mess around her.

 (You can’t _wait_ for Carmilla to pick up on that fun fact.)

The first meeting is actually less of a disaster than you expected. Carmilla’s mom ( _Dr. Karnstein_ , you remind yourself) is absolutely terrifying and could probably crush a man with a glance, Danny spends a lot of time arguing with Carmilla, who rolls her eyes roughly 49 times (you kept count) and Lola was blissfully unaware of any arguments going on and would pipe in with helpful, yet irrelevant, comments about what she thinks the four of you should do for the next year.

“Are we gonna sell cookies this year?” Lola asks, and Danny gets something that looks worryingly like bloodlust in her eyes.

“I _always_ sell the most cookies,” Danny says flippantly, giving Carmilla a glare that makes it clear that her remark is anything but flippant. “Isn’t that right, Laura?”

“Y-yeah, I guess,” you stutter, “I mean–”

“Guys!” Lola tries to break in, “the point _isn’t_ who sells the most …” but Carmilla glares at her and hisses, “Shut it, Raggedy Anne,” and Lola pouts.

“Let’s see who can sell more,” Danny continues, “whoever does _wins_. And we both know how much you want to win.”

The conversation has definitely gotten away from you, and Carmilla and Danny are clearly talking about something they didn’t bother to let you and Lola in on.

Dr. Karnstein hands out the cookie order forms silently, and Danny snatches three.

“Wouldn’t want to be caught empty handed, huh Carm?”

And Carmilla takes four.

\---

Lola walks home with you, chattering about the English essay she was assigned and about Homecoming, which is in three weeks and you learn that she already has a dress and is, “probably going with LaFontaine, but like, just as friends. We’re just friends,” and you want to ask her if LaFontaine thinks that too (and whether she _really_ thinks that) but you refrain and nod when it seems like she wants you too.

She stops right outside of LaFontaine’s house, and gives you an awkward wave. “Um… see you at the next meeting?”

You nod, and she smiles, giving you a less awkward wave before running up the walkway and into the house.

When you open the door to your house, it’s pitch black and you find (after fumbling for the light switch for a couple minutes) a note from your dad on the kitchen table telling you that he had an emergency at work, and you can either wait for him to come home to eat or there’s leftover pork chops in the fridge if you want.

(It’s the third time this week that there’s been an emergency and you’re beginning to get sick of coming home to an empty house. You consider going over to LaFontaine’s, but remember that Lola’s there, and you don’t want to intrude on… whatever’s going on between the two of them.)

So you warm up the pork chops and pull out your laptop, hoping to Skype with Betty, your best friend who moved (rather unexpectedly) at the end of freshman year. You want to tell her about Danny and Carmilla, about how the two of them always seem to be keeping some huge secret, and maybe complain about how even when Danny’s spitting insults at Carmilla, she still manages to be the most gorgeous person you’ve probably ever seen.

(And if it gets late enough, you have a half-formed plan to tell her that even though Carmilla is fucking _impossible_ and you’ve quite possibly never disliked someone more, she’s also fucking _hot_ and you’re really not quite sure what to do about that.)

But Betty isn’t online, she hasn’t been in weeks, and you feel quite suddenly completely alone.

You pull up your Facebook feed, and Danny’s posted in not only ever group she belongs to, but updated her status to read:

“hey guys!! so you guys may know im still a girl scout which means ive got cookies!!! message me if you want to order some… if i sell the most  i get a really cool prize!!!”

You shut your laptop and rest your head on the table. Danny can get incredibly competitive if she wants to, and you’re pretty sure Carmilla won’t give up without a fight. When you joined Girl Scouts back in kindergarten, you thought it was about friendship, but clearly you were wrong.

\--

The next two meetings are full of Danny and Carmilla obsessively comparing cookie order forms, and you and Lola talking about maybe volunteering at the local animal shelter. Strangely, Dr. Karnstein hasn’t actually showed up to any of the meetings, despite them being at herhouse, and when you ask Carmilla about it, she just shrugs with a, “My mother’s a very busy woman, cutie,” and _shit_ somehow you’ve managed to completely fall for her, despite the fact that she’s probably the most infuriating person you’ve ever had the honor of meeting.

(Betty’s still not on Skype, like _ever_ , so you tell Lola who gives you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, and tells you that you should probably choose Danny, because Carmilla is a “bad influence.”) 

Carmilla somehow got the entirety of the drama club to buy cookies solely from her and she’s not even in the drama club, but you’re pretty sure she’s dated most of them and probably has them wrapped around her finger. Danny, of course, has the entire track team on her side, and you, Lola and LaFontaine spend an hour trying to figure out which one of them is winning, and then another hour trying to figure out what the prize is.

LaFontaine claims that they totally know what it is, but doesn’t want to spoil the surprise. Lola rolls her eyes and tells LaFontaine that they’re being ridiculous, that no one could decipher the minds of the Killer Cookie Duo (as you’ve come to call the two of them), to which LaFontaine responds by launching into a description of some scientific process that they came up with that _somehow_ (you’re not quite sure _how_ though) relates.

\---

Finally, ( _finally_ , you don’t think you could have handled more of Danny’s overly enthusiastic or Carmilla’s vaguely passive aggressive Facebook posts) Dr. Karnstein sends out an email asking for you to submit your cookie forms. You sold a couple boxes (mostly to yourself, but no one needs to know that) and Lola said that she had sold “a fair amount.” You just hope that once this cookie thing is over, you can go back to crushing on Danny from a distance and completely ignoring Carmilla. It was easier like that.

Dr. Karnstein actually shows up to the next meeting, and leads it like she doesn’t have the piece of information that Danny and Carmilla are willing to probably kill each other though. You can finally bring up your and Lola’s plan to volunteer at the animal shelter, and Dr. Karnstein approves it with a curt nod. It’s not until the end of the meeting that she even brings up the cookie thing.

Danny looks so eager that she’s about to fall out of her seat, and Carmilla’s trying valiantly to maintain her carefully cultivated air of disdain, but is failing somewhat hilariously. You roll your eyes at Lola and she smiles, ducking her head so that no one would see Actual Angel Lola Perry making fun of anyone.

You manage to tune out Carmilla’s mom’s droning voice, because you _obviously_ didn’t win, and even if you did, neither Danny nor Carmilla offered to let you or Perry in on the prize.

“I would like to congratulate one member in particular. Lola, you managed to sell the most. Congratulations. That will be all,” and Dr. Karnstein sweeps out of the room, leaving Lola smiling slightly smugly and Danny and Carmilla looking like they’re not sure who they want to kill first, Lola or the other half of the Killer Cookie Duo.

“I sold cookies to all the families I babysit for, plus the debate team. It was easy,” Lola chirps and you’re containing the urge to burst out laughing. “Anyways, what were the two of you fighting over?”

Danny turns red and Carmilla pointedly looks at the wall above your head.

“We um–” Carmilla starts, and then rushes out in a breath of air, “whoever sold the most got to ask Laura to homecoming,” and you’re not sure whether to be embarrassed or flattered.

So you decide to be both at the same time, blushing and stammering out something that could be thanks on some planet where the inhabitants speak in high pitched squeaks.

“Does this mean I have to go to homecoming with Laura? Cause I’m already–”

“No!” Danny and Carmilla say at the same time, and then glare at each other.

“We could like… all go together,” you whisper, and the two of them look at you like you’re a genius or something.

“Or…” Danny starts, “Or we could have a race. I’ll race you to the school and back, Karnstein,” and she’s out the door in a flash, Carmilla right behind her.

“Or _I_ could choose!” You call after them, ready to run out too, but Lola puts a hand on your shoulder.

“They’ll be back,” she says, “We can try to talk some sense into them then. I mean… you’re lucky. They’re like the prettiest girls in the whole school. I wouldn’t be able to choose.”

And you let your head drop onto the Karnstein’s dining room table with a dull thunk, because there’s no way you can choose either.

“For the record,” Lola continues, “LaFontaine was totally right about the _prize_. It’s so obvious they both _totally_ have a crush on you.”

You reach up blindly to try and swat Lola’s face, but she ducks out of the way, laughing.

The front door slams shut, and you can already hear Danny’s indignant shouts of “You cheated!” and you’re _so_ screwed.


End file.
